Sometimes we hold on to stuff that should just be let go. But it is hard right? How do we do it?
I used to be someone who would remember and hold on to everything. I did not realize holding on to all the pain and traumatic experiences I had growing up led to a series of poor choices in my relationships, poor health and weight management issues. I had done a lot of work with my homeopathic therapist that allowed me to first work on my mental health, while building a strong internal constitution to end the consistent digestive issues. As I started to peal away the layers of stress, denial, and discomfort, I found me again. You sometimes have to dig into your past to see where certain conditioning started to undo that conditioning and build the version of you, who you are meant to be.
In 2009, I decided to stop the cycle of bad choices and realized that I deserved better. I had gotten engaged and started to dig into my relationship a bit more seriously to make sure this was the man I wanted to marry. After all the party planning and picking the dress, I started to analyze the relationship and think about what the marriage would be like. A pivotal moment in all the work I had been doing was realizing I was holding on to so much pain, that if I had just let the pain that occurred so many years prior go, I would make better choices for myself not to relive the pain over and over again. This is probably the hardest work I had ever done for myself, but it totally paid off. I realized the man I was engaged to was not the right person for me. The only thing we had in common was the pain we had both suffered, and once I had let go of the pain, I realized he did not reflect me at all and a life with him would have boxed me into a corner that I did not want to live. So, I ended it, 4 months before the wedding (phew!). I also realized where the pain stemmed from, and decided to approach the person who was at the root of these issues, and deal with it head on. It was the only way for me to be confident that I put my best effort forward to mend the issues I had, but also to let go and move on. I finally had my head on straight, but my body had not caught up yet.
After all of this work, I took a vacation. I went to Europe and Dubai to hang out with family and by chance met Dr.Villy Doctor. Villy-ma helped me heal in ways I could not imagine. I had done a lot of releasing the year prior. Changing relationships and managing my mental health and stress, but my body was not responding well to it. It was like all the years of holding on to anger and pain was eating at my insides and I could not control it. Villy-ma taught me a meditation practice that I still do and teach to this day. The main benefit I got from the meditation is to let go! Forgive and just let go! On top of that, I also found gratitude for all that I am and all that I am meant to be. There are three different stages in this meditation. The first stage is about your past. Most people are in this stage for a year before they move into the second stage, which is your present. And the third stage is your future.
I practiced the first stage for a solid year day and night. And within the first 4 months of this practice, I released a lot of what I was holding onto from the past, I was able to heal my digestive issues, and manage my stress better. I also met my now husband. It was amazing to feel so connected to myself and not have the weight of the past hold me down any more.
Villy-ma gave me the blessing to teach this meditation to others, and that has been the best gift of all. I hope to plan some sessions soon to conduct in person meditations, but in the meantime, here is a link to Villy-ma teaching the meditation at google headquarters. I hope you benefit from it as much as I did.
Just let go.